LOL: Keeping my Mood Happy for the Rest of the YEAR!!!

I’m a happy person physical and mentally, sometimes when everything turns sad I always have the way to keep myself in a happy mood,

One of the many ways I do without a fail is to read really funny jokes – particularly written in Bisaya dialect.. Bisaya jokes are just freakin’ funny!!!

 I will try to translate the jokes (the best that I can)  in this post and hope to share the laugh and fun with all of you guy!!! Happy 2013.. Keep SMILING

himantayon.com

*****

In the Riverside

Man: I LOVE THE WEATHER,  hey boy!! Been here for a long time, do you think the river is deep?

Boy: Of course not!!

The man jumped off the river....seconds later….

Man: Helllpppppp me!!!!! HELP!! Hey hey… I thought the river is not deep??!!

Boy:  I think you’re overacting!!, I just saw ducks and swan crossing the river a while ago….

*****

In a classroom

Teacher: Kids be seated, does anyone knows HEAVEN??

Kids: yessss…

Teacher: Who wants to go to heaven??!

Everyone raises their hands except Pedro

Teacher: Pedro, what’s wrong??  you don’t want to go to heave?

Pedro:  Because mom said, I have to go home early today

*****

In a Class

Teacher: Our topic for today is about Steve Job, has anyone of you knows him??

Teacher: ana?

Ana: no ma’am..

Teacher: allan??

Allan: no ma’am… I don’t know him…

Teacher: how about you Pedro??

Pedro: I don’t know him ma’am, maybe he is sitting in the other class…!

******

The father is boiling water in the kitchen his son saw him seriously closing his eyes in front of the boiling water

Son: hey dad, Why so serious, it’s only boiling water, I also learned it in school it is basically an evaporation process

Father: Sons, it’s not evaporation and do not listen to your teacher saying that, because it is actually the souls of the germs going up in heaven…

******

One day, Ugly Pedro went to the jungle and saw a rabbit with a broken leg, he helps the poor bunny and after some time, the bunny transformed into a beautiful fairy…

Fairy: Pedro because you’ve helped me…. I will give you 1 wish

Pedro: really?!!

Pedro handed a map and said:

Bring me to this place (point his finger to NEW YORK) and give me a lady who will truly love me

Fairy: Sorry but my power is limited to Philippines only

Pedro: ok fine.. Then I wish for you to be human and marry me

Fairy: huh??! Then hand me that fucking map I’ll see what I can do!!!!

******

Teacher: Pedro! spell AMBuLANCE~

Pedro: A...M...B...

Teacher: FASTER!!!

Pedro: wew...wew...wew...wew...(ambulance sound)

*******

In a Restaurant

Pedro:  ewww…! Waiter!!!  Waiter… why there are bugs floating in my soup, yesterday it’s a cockroach now, it’s freaking bugs… what wrongs with this resto?!!!

Waiter: Sorry sir, because No more cockroach so we alternate it with bugs….

******

Pedro saw Juan walking in teary eyes with a big bump on his forehead..

Pedro: Hey Juan what happened??

Juan: I visited a girl…

Pedro: did her father hit you then??

Juan: noo.. I brought a guitar and started singing a love song outside her window then she throws flowers on me…

Pedro: huh?! So the flower caused that??

Pedro: yes!! Because the flower is still in the POT!!!

*****

himantayon.com