What you see is what you get, I was a fair believer of such quote but everything changed when I met Anna…
Anna was a 32 years old woman, chubby but with angelic face, it was very unexpected knowing her, I was in the midst for quick grocery in one busy store in Kuwait city, I was on queue in the cashier and she was standing behind me… unknowingly I started a chat
Me: Hi, how are you??
Anna: oh…! sorry, I thought you are not a filipino..
Me: hahah…. Really, do I look like any other nationality??
Anna: Chinese?
We both laughed.. Then we continue …
Anna: How long you’ve been here?? Is your family here?
Me: Been here for 10 yrs now and the whole family is here.. Thank God, How about you?
She looks at me, as if she wanted to say something deep… she bow down and sigh…
Anna: well… been here for 1 year now, working as an household worker.. You’re LUCKY!!
Me: ow… Thanks..!
We were interrupted by the cashier, so I immediately paid my bills and bid farewell to anna… but SHE STOPPED ME and requested me to just wait for a while, she wants to talk to me, I waited till she finished in the counter area, we seated in the nearby bench available just outside the store, as I looked at her, she seems so bothered and in pain…
Anna: actually, I just want to ask you, if you know somebody named Johan Fernades
Me: sorry.. but I don’t know him, we have lots of kababayans here and with the right people I’m sure we’re able to find him… who is he by the way??
Anna: He is my husband… and please so do not ask anyone to find him, I’m keeping it low…he's already married here and that is why i'm here but unfortunately , landed into the wrong job because of this decision I may not be able to take him back..
Me: sorry anna… but you’re confusing, you’re his wife and he’s married here??? And you want to take him back?? Huh..!! sorry.. I can’t get it??
Anna: I’m so sorry, I cannot explain to you in simple words I can express, I’m so shattered right now... my mind and heart are in different cycle, I just wish I’m dead so I’m not be able to feel all the pain but I’m fighting to the very end because of my kids….
Me: Anna, I know its hard and if only I have the power to read your mind and heart to ease your pain, I would do it, but at this instance, I cannot get the clear vision and I hope you’ll take me to the clear road so I can help you…
Anna started crying like a child full of tears and flowing emotions…
Anna: I was married with johan for more than 15 years, we have 3 kids, we were happy back then, simple and a happy marriage, He decided to worked in kuwait because he wants to prepare for our kids future it was not part of the plan but I have given him my support, I never tried any other work than being a mom, I have a degree but Johan wants me to take care of the kids instead,
Few years later, he started to changed his annual visit it became seldom, we often argue over the phone due to many reasons and you know, women’s instinct, I know something is really wrong… Till one day, I received the most painful message in my life.....
he wants an annulment for he finally met the woman of his dreams..
Someone who truly understands him and someone who makes him happy!!!
I was devastated!!!!! traumatized..I could not explain the PAIN.......
I want to fight but I have NOTHING!! neither work nor money to pay for the lawyer and even for my kids’ school NOTHING..NOTHING at all!! but out of goodness he claimed: he offers to pay for the kids educations and allowances in exchange for his freedom so I agreed and signed the papers..
And last year, my kids shown me the photos of his wedding to the new girl, it’s was extravagant- a perfect dream wedding , at that moment, all I can think of was to kill him and how cruel such lady to ruined my marriage, a marriage that I have given so much of my life...
and here I am working as a slave, I still don’t know till when I have to suffer
and here I am working as a slave, I still don’t know till when I have to suffer
ME: r u in a good place?? I mean, your employers are good??
Anna: yes indeed…
Me: how about your kids??
Anna: they’re ok, they are with my mom... if you are going to ask me. I’m surviving but every time I remember the wedding photos of my ex I feel so mad, small and shitttt!!
Me: hey hey… ! Sorry Anna I wish I can help you enough… I was surprised and pleased for the trust you’ve given me…I, consider myself as NEW in the in the world of marriage but all I can say is that, your Ex might found the ONE in the face of other woman and but you cannot be sure of what the future brings, you may suffer this much for now but everything has limits , God don’t want us to be hurt, it is a learning process, find your worth and seek for God's Guidance
This is your chance!! Just hang in there and be a strong mother for your kids, Considered being alive as an opportunity to grow, to live , to beautify yourself and your life, you can never find happiness if you continue living in pain, the world will not stop to rotate and so are we…
As much as I wanted more time to talk with Anna her employer arrived and she took off in seconds without saying anything…..
Truly was an experience not my simple cup of tea but a day full of wisdom….
do I open my mouth to complain or keep it shut to express my confidence in God?
What we see is not always what we get!!! Not all that shines are gold
Life as I said before remains a mystery, we have lots of options laid before us and it is up to us to choose the right one!!!!
And to all the women out there:
When the “worse” seems to overshadow the “better,” just hang-on to this reality: feelings come and go; commitment does not.
When all else failed and seems wrong, remember you have yourself to hang on,you are designed and built to be tough and tested with highest quality of materials, let God shields you from all the pain, surrender it all to HIM and live your life!!!
