EXPAT ISSUE: WORKING WITH NARCISSIST

 

I feel really great to finally get my fingers busy typing this post, though, the topic is kinda hard  or somewhat annoying but the thoughts of blogging again excites me the most!!! So here we go!!

Been in kuwait for more than 15 years   or exactly 20  (this year).. oh wow!! Time flies so fast!!  Such great years of my stay in kuwait  large percentage of it are being invested  at work and gaining that experience and knowledge to land the position of where  I am right now, although, I still have  many things to accomplish but ey!!  It’s not easy to be here!!

Moving forward,  for the past 15 years of my career working  in a diverse industries getting along with different race and ethnicity ,  I am able to pursue goals, create my name,  work with ease  even on the hype of different levels of pressure and stress, I get used to the corporate game  well, I thought I did…..

I actually quit my job few months ago,  I never ever thought that a person like me who’s gifted with so much patience, talent and deep understanding of humanity  needs to back out to find myself over again,

My last company ( I don’t need to mention name) was the worst I’ve ever worked with, I mean, there’s no perfect company everyone always have something to complain about anything but at the end of the day ,we can all agree that working as an expat in Kuwait requires extensive planning before jumping from one company  to another as we need to secure our residency before anything else. But in my case,  I quit without plans as I need to pull myself from losing it and drowning, the work and the environment itself  is soooooo toxic at the highest level.

I was part of the pioneer team, we established the company from scratch something I worked my heart and best to it, eventually,  the company started to grow and nailed its name in the market, it was indeed a company so positive and active at the beginning we aspired to create a great team and culture within, however, a year after, share-holders decided to hire more people as we need help to fully establish the company as it continuous to cater greater possibilities,  upper management decided to hire someone without doing any background check a mere recommendation from someone close,  "the newly hired" we all thought can make a significant changes in the company turn out to be a monster in disguise, a full grown NARCISSIST. , its funny how I saw a lot of tiktok post about working with narcissist I actually shrug it off and thinking that, even at the slightest chance there's no way a person like that exist, but indeed, it was the most stressful and horrific moments of my career,

Working with such person is like working with the devil, he will provoke, lies, manipulate and confidently flaunt his name to anything even to the extent of grabbing the works of others, he blames and don’t take responsibilities of anything, worst is that, he’s bringing the company down due to his lack of experience and knowledge on the field yet he knows how to speak and turn things into his favour.

 I guess, we all fall to the trap, he was given one of the crucial position in the company and sitting close with the partners and months after given the position, everything turn into nightmare, we never expect to be working with a extreme narcissist, well, I am not in the position to diagnose one but to experience first-hand I can’t stop myself looking for facts, research to actually understand the person and narcissist personality/disorder fits him well. 

It’s hard to imagine that in years of working, I became a brutal victim of a NARCISSIST; it was dreadful, stressful, discriminating and toxic working in that company. it’s like,  every day I have to prepare for a battle which I know I cannot win,  I may be part of the management team but to stand alone against a narcissist is super tiring  and  they will exhaust all your energy to the point of losing yourself on the process.

At the beginning, I tried to slave to all the demands and procedures, but as an experienced and professional in the field, it’s easy for me to observe and take noticed if one really has the quality and the impact to take control of all aspect of the business. Sadly, I was the first line of attack simply because I’m Asian and I speak my mind, every NARCISSIST do not like someone who go against them or better than them, they will destroy whoever they feel is blocking their way, they don’t care if their actions create chaos or downfall of the company, they are selfish, self-centered and excessive liar.

But I am grateful that I no longer part of that company and had moved on, being expat especially in Kuwait, we feel helpless knowing that we hardly find support from any agencies to help us on the issues such as this, so my take and my advice to those who are on the same situation are the following:

1.)Stay Calm and Control yourself

Narcissist loves to provoke and bully, they have the tendency to bring out the worst version of you, stay in control of yourself, your emotions, be calm and stay professional (grace under pressure)

 

2.) Find someone to confide,  do not curb all your frustrations

Find someone you can trust and confide all your feelings to release all the tension, let it out, don’t hide it alone.

 

3.) Have a BALANCE in Life : as you go out of work leave everything behind, always create a space in between work and home

 

4.) Stay focus and keep a good trail of your work

One of many things that frustrate a NARCISSIST is knowing that someone better than them, and trails of evidence supporting against their lies and manipulations, keep everything in writing and in detailed

 

5.)  Find Support within the company

Find someone you can trust and confide,  Narcissist are great manipulator and they take control of everything and everyone, but there is always that one person whom you can confide everything and  will be able to connect with the right people to  help you with.

 

6.)  Prioritize your health more than anything else, Never let work destroy your health both mentally and Physically, Remember:  Company can trash and replace you in any moment you no longer relevant to them.

 

7.)  Find new opportunity, always have the PLAN B, you don’t need to settle yourself for less, know your worth and move forward with integrity