Monday, November 11, 2013

Parenting: Bullying


photo:lanas2osomething.blogspot


“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.” 
― Anne Frank






Since, I became a mother everything to me is a learning process, I really want to be a better mom, but it’s hard because what I have inside of me is a memory of a lonely child…..

I was a product of a broken family and I did not think of myself less than any other kids, yes!! People judged and kids bullied me for the things I have no control, it was a painful childhood and yet I have used every pain to build that confidence in me , 

I make it appoint that my kids grow up ready to face the world with confidence and respect for others, “great inventors are born normal just like anyone else but they professed themselves and learned to be great….”  Same as bullies, they’re not born bullies but people made them to be one!!!

One of many things we, parents are hard to resist is bullying, we always want our kids to be safe  but we cannot control things specially when our precious ones are already in school on their own,  so how do we prepare our kids as well as ourselves from such danger


Bullying:

During my school days, Bullying is not even a word to begin with, it is more of who’s popular and strong in school, 

The very worst I have encountered was one of my classmates was taking my food every recess but it doesn’t frustrate me at all, since I’m so tired of the same food everyday from breakfast to dinner and it shocked me because the bully kid is not even bothered he’s eating same food everyday during those days! Haha… 

I can’t even compare how safe we are before than today; the very worst is here in this generation.. Kids these days are very smart that sometimes I lose control of how they are able to turn the things upside down…..




What are the signs that your kid is being bullied or the bully one:

Bully victim effect checklist:

1.)    Unexplainable pain and injuries, headaches, stomachache
2.)   Faking illness
3.)   Lost or destroyed things like books, clothing, gadgets, anything
4.)   Loss of appetite and interest in school
5.)   Avoidance to people
6.)   Depress
7.)   Decrease in self-esteem
8.)  Sleepless and frequent nightmares


The bully checklist:

1.)     Friends with the naughty ones
2.)    Parents always received complain calls from school and other parents
3.)    Aggressive
4.)    Disrespectful
5.)    Always have new belonging and extra cash
6.)    Insensitive

How do we prepare our kids

1.)  Open communication

Always provide space and an open line for your kids to speak, be a friend, don’t judge and be a good listener to them, Let the kids feel that they have the parents who are willing to listen to them in whatever things they want to share

2.)  Socialization

Kids who are socially exposed have a lower risk of  being a victim,  enroll your kids in any interesting activities, let them mingle with other kids by providing them the confidence in socialization it is very easy for them to adjust nor be friends with anybody


3.)  Spanky Habit

It is ok to get angry with your kids because children by nature will test us into our limits (in a very applicable circumstances) giving them a little spank is the way to keep them in the proper phase, I do agree with giving the kids a little of that but don’t make it a habit to spank them whenever they are mistaken

Spank causes a small gap into our relationship with our kids and making it a habit will widen the gap and eventually, kids will no longer feel the pain they will become bully, uncontrollable and disrespectful kids


4.)   Power of hug and Love

We all love our kids, we really do.. Kids would always feel that they’re loved by literally doing it to them, it is where they feel they’re secure, well loved and comfortable


5.)  Spend Time

Make it a habit to spend time with your kids even in your busy day, remember, such little time would mean so much to them

We, parents can only hope for the safety of our kids and keep them forever but letting go and let them experience the world would able them to be strong and be prepared in the future,  spend time , shower them with love and comfort as it is their weapon against this cruel world

" You may give them your love but not your thoughts,"
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For thir souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the make upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness.
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He also loves the bow that is stable.”

 ― Kahlil Gibran

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