Showing posts with label year end funny jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label year end funny jokes. Show all posts

Thursday, January 3, 2013

LOL: Keeping my Mood Happy for the Rest of the YEAR!!!



I’m a happy person physical and mentally, sometimes when everything turns sad I always have the way to keep myself in a happy mood,

One of the many ways I do without a fail is to read really funny jokes – particularly written in Bisaya dialect.. Bisaya jokes are just freakin’ funny!!!

 I will try to translate the jokes (the best that I can)  in this post and hope to share the laugh and fun with all of you guy!!! Happy 2013.. Keep SMILING


himantayon.com

*****
In the Riverside
Man: I LOVE THE WEATHER,  hey boy!! Been here for a long time, do you think the river is deep?
Boy: Of course not!!
The man jumped off the river....seconds later….
Man: Helllpppppp me!!!!! HELP!! Hey hey… I thought the river is not deep??!!
Boy:  I think you’re overacting!!, I just saw ducks and swan crossing the river a while ago….

*****

In a classroom
Teacher: Kids be seated, does anyone knows HEAVEN??
Kids: yessss…
Teacher: Who wants to go to heaven??!
Everyone raises their hands except Pedro
Teacher: Pedro, what’s wrong??  you don’t want to go to heave?
Pedro:  Because mom said, I have to go home early today

*****
In a Class
Teacher: Our topic for today is about Steve Job, has anyone of you knows him??
Teacher: ana?
Ana: no ma’am..
Teacher: allan??
Allan: no ma’am… I don’t know him…
Teacher: how about you Pedro??
Pedro: I don’t know him ma’am, maybe he is sitting in the other class…!

******

The father is boiling water in the kitchen his son saw him seriously closing his eyes in front of the boiling water

Son: hey dad, Why so serious, it’s only boiling water, I also learned it in school it is basically an evaporation process
Father: Sons, it’s not evaporation and do not listen to your teacher saying that, because it is actually the souls of the germs going up in heaven…

******

One day, Ugly Pedro went to the jungle and saw a rabbit with a broken leg, he helps the poor bunny and after some time, the bunny transformed into a beautiful fairy…

Fairy: Pedro because you’ve helped me…. I will give you 1 wish
Pedro: really?!!
Pedro handed a map and said:
Bring me to this place (point his finger to NEW YORK) and give me a lady who will truly love me
Fairy: Sorry but my power is limited to Philippines only
Pedro: ok fine.. Then I wish for you to be human and marry me
Fairy: huh??! Then hand me that fucking map I’ll see what I can do!!!!

******
Teacher: Pedro! spell AMBuLANCE~

Pedro: A...M...B...

Teacher: FASTER!!!

Pedro: wew...wew...wew...wew...(ambulance sound)

*******

In a Restaurant
Pedro:  ewww…! Waiter!!!  Waiter… why there are bugs floating in my soup, yesterday it’s a cockroach now, it’s freaking bugs… what wrongs with this resto?!!!
Waiter: Sorry sir, because No more cockroach so we alternate it with bugs….

******

Pedro saw Juan walking in teary eyes with a big bump on his forehead..
Pedro: Hey Juan what happened??
Juan: I visited a girl…
Pedro: did her father hit you then??
Juan: noo.. I brought a guitar and started singing a love song outside her window then she throws flowers on me…
Pedro: huh?! So the flower caused that??
Pedro: yes!! Because the flower is still in the POT!!!

*****

himantayon.com