Showing posts with label sadness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sadness. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

My SEPTEMBER SADNESS!!

September 2011,  it’s a bit frustrating and overwhelming  ….. so many things happen this month and all I can share is the memory I will keep for the rest of my LIFE…



September starts with a celebration of EID were every muslim friends and family gathered to celebrate, a long holiday and a time to rest.....  we have a few late night outs but have to spend my last cash wisely as my husband salary is yet to come,  
weeks later,  I was right to have kept my money safe…. 
I don’t have to elaborate my rant against my husband’s company,  it is their decision not to prioritized their employees needs, almost 2 months of no salary I have to cover everything and this is what I fear but still happy to have a wonderful and stable job….

2nd week of September is just a panic atttack we almost run out of anything, I MEAN everything at home….. and the worst is that,  I cannot withdraw money from my bank due to some service reason and end up asking few friends & family a favor…..

3rd week, this includes my sad birthday, I celebrated my tears and joy with my FB friends, I stayed on line for the rest of the day… my mom donated good dinner and drinks for the family to share, end up starving for pizza and cheese cake, hopelessly waiting for the night to end and hoping for a wonderful day tomorrow…… soo sad that all I can do is to cry till I close my eyes to sleep

And this few days,  the final week of this month the hardest of all,   it was never my intention to get in-touch with the person I always want to forget, somehow,  in everyone’s journey, there will be a point in time that we have to face our past in order to laid down the heavy bagage we’ve been bringing for so long….. I met my father “my real father” in facebook,  I’m surprise to see him there , I was not prepared to step into the moment, we have a few exchange of mails and it was so long before I response to his plea of forgiveness ,  yes,, I finally forgiven him and felt so free, I guess, this is what GOD wants me to experience, a sad physical birthday but  freedom from pain, I could not ask for more……

In the end, I decided not to go further with what me and my dad has right now, im not ready and  I never thought of it…… it’s amazing how simple things we thought just a mare hobby or a plain social network site but it makes different when experiences like this happened

Trully, everything happens for a reason in perfect time and place, I’m now, putting every sinlge event into the pocket of my experience, a learning process, a memory that once in my life I found the inner freedom  and forgiveness!!, 

Thank you LORD for keeping me strong and healthy ….. I become wiser and faithful to GOD...keep myself ready for whatever life has to offer…

keeping the faith---->WISEMUMMY SCEAM!!