Cruel to be Kind…

When I was in college, I always heard this line from one of my fave teacher, I’m not going to mentioned his name as I know I have followers from my college buddies and it will damage my name bwahahahaha… kidding!!! Well, perhaps, no one really understand the style of teaching and discipline because he is indeed cruel but for one, such kind of approach had thought me to be always prepared and be good in everything I do, he was like the Simon Cowell of our school, he do not hesitate to speak his mind even if it hurt you down to your bones….. 

So going back to the topic, I never understood why he keeps on saying “SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO BE CRUEL TO BE KIND” every end of his class but now, I really do!! 

I’ve been working my whole life after graduation been into different companies but one thing is common in my experience is the “ABUSE of Goodness” …yep!! We all have that goodness in our heart as we are all created equal with emotions and we also have that tendency to abuse others especially when you feel they’re very nice ( ahem….!!! Have you???) , 

I once, had an officemate who is newly hired in the company and at that moment, I feel that I have to extend my help to her since, we both are in the same country and I’ve been in the same situation when I was just starting in the company, so I offer to drive her home and from then is history.

I’ve offer her once and it continue to every day and whenever she wants and eventually, asked me to take her as well in the morning to come to work for the reason she could not find any transportation,(by the way, the company is giving her  allowance to pay for the transportation) at first I feel it’s ok to help because she needed that but sooner than I thought, I’ve been abused, I was in denial, telling myself it’s ok but in my heart I’m in total disbelief wanting her to just vanish!!! I do not have that courage to tell her that I’m not comfortable with the situation (I know, I’m pathetic!!!)  

Until one day, while giving her a ride home she started story telling about her family and her kids and end up asking me a favor to barrow some cash…. (Can you believe it??!) , she was just 1 month in the company, having a free ride and now, she wanted to barrow money???!  At that moment, the only lines I can remember is “ SOMETIMES you have to be cruel to be KIND”, it gives me the strength to just let go of my emotions and immediately say NO to her and honestly, it feels really really really good!!!  

For the first time in my life, I feel free and not obligated to always be good to others, I’m not saying we have to be literally cruel but find that balance and learn to say NO when it is needed, BE CRUEL TO BE KIND!!  And guess, what happen to me and my officemate, we become normal officemates with no commitment, hi and hello is enough and I can deal with that all my life!!! Period!! 

Being nice is a commitment to stay the same, it’s a process of long patience and believing in one solid golden rule: “Don’t do unto others, what others don’t want to do unto you” but always always always find that balance in your heart and in your mind, learn to say NO when it is needed…

TILL THEN… HAVE A GREAT DAY EVERYONE!! AND REMEMBER TO BE CRUEL TO BE KIND!!

Chinese man kept alive for five years with HOMEMADE ventilator

 

 

Being alive is something we have to be thankful every day ,

Being poor is not always a cursed …

Yes!! It’s great to have everything but being less in life doesn’t mean we have no right to be alive nor take advantage of the needs for human services ,

God has given us a brain and body to function above all things… Use it well and you’ll see how wonderful it is to discover and take chances!!!

 

Here's a wonderful and Inspirational story of LIFE and Taking Chances..... 



 

A Chinese man has been kept alive for the last five years thanks to a homemade ventilator that his family have to manually squeeze hundreds of times a day.
Fu Xuepeng was 25 when he collided with a car while riding his motorbike to a supermarket.
He was diagnosed with severe damage to his nervous system and has been paralysed from the neck down and unable to breathe unaided ever since.

Instead, he must rely on a ventilator with a breathing tube in his airway.
But after four months on breathing equipment in Taizhou First People's Hospital, his parents were forced to bring him home because of the unbearably high medical expenses.

Despite receiving 300,000 yuan (£30,0000) in compensation from the driver, it cost more than 10,000 (£1,000) yuan per week to keep Fu on a medical ventilator, according to a report by the website china.org.cn.

His mother Wang Lanqin and father Fu Minzu were left with only one option - to remove him from hospital and try to care for him at home.
They bought a bag valve mask ventilator and have manually pumped lifesaving oxygen into his lungs by hand ever since.
To keep Fu, now, 30, alive, the attached air ball must be squeezed at even intervals to manually pump oxygen into the body.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2270178/Chinese-man-kept-alive-years-HOMEMADE-ventilator-family-squeeze-18-times-minute.html#ixzz2JO6u9tQD
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I'd Rather Have the One who Holds my Heart

I was listening to the song this morning, I was like static!!...  The chorus is just soooo intense; I stood still and let my emotions flows in the air, it’s a wonderful feeling when you know that one person you’re so deeply in love will hold your hands and face the world with no conditions

The songs simply grace into the pain of reality, we do not understand it at times but it’s actually a test of destiny, Temptations/ Barriers in different forms and faces simply come & go, it’s deceiving especially when everything fell into superficial happiness "blind-sided"

Always remember that: the world was created in perfection and so as the bond between husband and wife, beyond what heart and mind can't speak,  REAL LOVE  is self less, forgiving and can see right from wrong, it's not blind nor deaf , it is strong -for it can stand in any twist of hardship....

“Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses. “

Ann Landers

I’m not saying my marriage is perfect because 7 years of marriage is nothing but I considered it as an achievement in a shape of a better curve, we have our bad times which we tried to live it out in our way, Marriage is not simple as it spell, it is a lifetime commitment of life and love..

Start the New Year by seeing the truth within, Love is precious and so as the PERSON you love!!!  Learn to forgive and pray that separation is not always the solution, take time and looked back seek that moment you found love in the eyes of the person you’ve loved once in your life!!!!

Happy NEW YEAR!!!

Windows of Personality

I was in my  final years in high school when I got introduced to this 4 windows of personality,  I attentively listen to the speaker as he explained each of the personality, Indeed, it became sort of  my “GUIDE” be modest and sensitive on my actions and others,

Here’s an illustration of what I am referring,

it is called JOHARI windows of personality, I know many of my readers already knew about this but for the benefits of those who are new, it is like discovering “YOU” what you know about yourself,  what other’s know about you, what other’s know about you that you don’t know and what you will discover about yourself...

 In a way, it helps me to analyze and observe one’s action and response in a certain situation, this is not also to say that I’m an expert but I used such tool to learneand discover more about myself and others..

There are few personalities by which I observed common to some “MODERN” people, it sometimes irritate me but most of the time I pitied them, 

 

1. The Wrong Achiever

These are the type of people who yearn to achieve certain status not to satisfy themselves but others, they worked hard to satisfy one's happiness,  it’s very hard to intervene with this kind of people simply because they do not know that they already trap in the situation but they continue to work without question just to please somebody...

Wisemummy shout! :  it’s a good attitude to help and achieve but  you should ask yourself, till when??  Is it worth it??

2. The Social Climber

Well, it’s literal!!...  these people likes anything expensive, luxury and anything that defines glamour regardless of their actual status in society, they work hard to earn that glamour status, they seek attention to cover their unwanted reality, they love fame, they love people to envy them, they live up to the high level society even if it takes a months of  eating only a tomato on their breakfast,lunch and dinner just to buy the latest gad… 

Wisemummy Shout!: I can only pray  for those who cannot see what really is the real happiness!! Richness does not define by expensive clothes nor latest gadgets.. it is by one’s satisfaction to life in long term basis….

3. The Stabbers

I have been friends with the stabbers before and I should say, it’s like a disease you’ll never know it’s already in you when you are with them, these people usually overjoyed by gossiping and judging other people, there whole life centered to what they hear and what they see, it can even lead to damage one's reputation and dignity… yet sometimes I noticed myself commenting bad things about others and I have no resistance when I am with them..

 

Wisemummy Shout!: yeah yeah…. Gossiping is addiction, you get to hear and speak about people either good or bad…! Betta stop it before you are the center of the gossip…!

4. The Over and wrong Confidence

Parents ..it’s ok to praise your kids but with honestly and love, I have met people who are oooooooooooozing with so much confidence,  I thought it is something he/she adapted from his collegues or friends but  as I knew them well and deep, I discover that, it comes from  their parents, PARENTS who praises their kids exaggeratedly,  that KIDS as they grew up they  install such kind of  wrong confidence in all aspect of their lives, they say, I’m very good with this and I’m basically an expert with that but they really don’t have that talent but they see themselves as great, and they don’t accept failures and wrong!!

Wisemummy Shout!: you love your kids right??! Then love them real, let them experience the reality of life, don’t feed them the wrong confidence for they will live alone in the world the evolves failures and acceptance

 

The thing is, we all have this blind side in our windows of personality, we don’t know but others clearly see it in us,  it sometimes hard to accept, we can always ignore what others is telling us or we can observe it quietly and slowly get into the process of change,

Change is the only constant in this world, I’m not in the right position to say that what I see in you is wrong, for we all have our sets of expectations and personalities, my point is,  if we truly love ourselves then get to know “YOU” than overlook what is over or missing in you,  to appreciate the real beauty and richness of life, it always start in YOU and how you prepare yourself and your family  in the future with the best and proper self-equipment you can install...

Goossshhh.... my husband calls me Weird!!

Most woman loves to be at their best even in a simple stroll in the mall, I used to be the girl who doesn’t care about my looks as long as I’m comfy, my day clothes can sometimes be my party dress and also become my office clothes ( hehehe..I know what ur thinking…!) ,

It only sinks into my mind that I have to change my usual style because my husband finds it annoying!!  How many times he told me that I really am a strange woman but it doesn’t bother me at all…

And the funny thing is that, I woke up one day with a lovely letter posted on our fridge with a title “Why my wife is WEIRD! “

Here are few things he listed:

1.)   She don’t use lotion but her skin is perfectly glowing

2.)  She collects branded perfumes but none of it was used

3.)  She can get out of the house not being noticed by anyone

4.)  Coffee is like heaven to her,  she can live with coffee alone

5.)  She is allergic to 5KD and above price, so I end up paying things she likes but doesn’t want to take because it’s 5KD…for heaven sake!!!!

6.)  She used lipsticks as her blush on and eye shadow

7.)  She don’t get tired of walking and window shopping

8.)  She wears weird shoes and sneakers THAT makes me feel old…!

9.)  She farts very loud and laughs out loud as if no one is AROUND her!

10.)                     She gave me an invoice and request for rental payment every time I use her Laptop for a Job…!

Now I know, why I end up loving her because I see HOW NORMAL SHE IS  when it comes to love... she loves me naturally with no conditions, she can be weird but I always enjoy every weirdness I discover in her….! 

Awwwwww……… so sweeeeettttt….. Though, I hate to read things that make me feel I’m totally out of this world!!... Reality bites! Aw!!!